Adrian, affectionately known as Adi, hails from Delft near Cape Town and stays with his girlfriend and their 10-month-old baby while his other children, ages 5, 6 and 8, live with his ex-girlfriend in a house nearby. Struggling with a strained relationship with his ex-partner, Adi faced limited contact with his children due to the ongoing tensions.

One day, while queueing for food at Community Changers for Life (CC4Life), a local non-profit in the community, Adi started chatting to Terrence, who is the head of the organisation, and asked whether Adi would like to join the weekly book-sharing training sessions. Adi reluctantly agreed but was very non-committal. After missing a few sessions, he started to attend more frequently and explains why: “I skipped a few classes at first, but Terrence kept asking me when I was going to come back, so I thought about it and how it might affect me, and I was so glad I went back to complete the training.

Adi caught up on all that he had missed and went on to graduate from the book-sharing course in a special ceremony held for all the book-sharing dads from CC4Life. He felt proud of his achievement. He says: “At the graduation, I shared with the others that I didn’t think I was going to achieve something like this in my life and I was so proud of myself for completing the course and being a parent and the responsibility around that.”

The first book-sharing session with his 10-month-old son did not go quite as Adi had envisaged. He found his child was more interested in wanting to bite and throw the wordless book, and while that is quite normal and deemed acceptable for that age, Adi longed to put into practice the full scope of all that he had learned at the book-sharing training. He decided to approach his ex-girlfriend and ask whether he could do book-sharing with his five-year-old son, knowing this was a big ask considering the tension between them.

Upon reaching the house, and as usual, Adi’s ex-girlfriend instructed him to stay outside. He tried to explain what book-sharing entailed, but she would not listen. It was only after her mother eventually came out and persuaded her daughter to let Adi inside and spend time with his son that his ex-girlfriend reluctantly gave up resisting and allowed him into the house.

After the first few book-sharing sessions, things changed dramatically in the household. Adi’s ex-girlfriend learned to recognise how beneficial the book-sharing time was for both father and son, and she had a change of heart. Adi tells us: ”That first book opened up a new world for me and made a whole lot of things possible. My ex-girlfriend feels very proud of me now. Today, I can go to her house, just knock on the door and go in – I have access to my child that I didn’t have before. I feel so happy and like a new person.”

When asked what changed him, Adi replies that it was an interest in his children. “My priorities changed a lot because the more I did book-sharing, the more I could see the connection growing between me and my child – not only the child but also his mother and my mother-in-law. The whole family dynamic changed. They were shocked that I had committed to something like the book-sharing but proud of me when I told them about the graduation. They really supported me.”

Adi’s commitment to book-sharing not only strengthened his bond with his children but also earned him respect within the Delft community where he lives. By sharing his experience with others, he inspired fellow parents to prioritise meaningful interactions with their children. This newfound focus on family and community has reshaped Adi’s outlook on life, fostering understanding and empathy towards others. He closes by saying: “Before book-sharing, I kept to myself and lived for myself but as I got into this book-sharing stuff, it made me a different person. It helped me to understand the needs of my children a lot more, and the needs of other people also. Book-sharing has impacted my wider family.

Adi’s journey from strained relationships to family reconnections through book-sharing exemplifies the transformative power of prioritising meaningful connections and investing in one’s role as a parent. His story serves as a testament to the positive ripple effects that can result from embracing change and nurturing relationships with loved ones, starting with one’s own children.